FIFA 2018: Review of English Commentary on Iran v. Portugal match (and a bit of Morocco v. Spain thrown in)

So that you know where my biases lie, and my displeasure at the group result as well as heady feeling of the matches due to fluctuating scorelines and scoreboards, here are three Whatsapp Statuses which I had to delete within moments:

1. I really wish that Iran would win against Portugal and Morocco can hold off Spain. It would be a re-reconquista.
2. The reason Iran doesn't score is due to their defensive mentality. They always use proxies. Perhaps they need to recruit Hezbollah players.
3. Spain needs to realize that their state of the economy need not reflect in football. It's back to the Moorish era. Al-Cid now.

You know the venue of course, Debopriyo's place.
We switched on the Iran-Portugalti mach at 10 mins. Seeing 0-0 gave me fervent confidence that Iran will win. But two successive Portuguese attacks and the commentator saying that the Iranian goalie, Alireza Beiranvand (I googled to put in his name, so you know my ati-respect for him) who is an "accomplished goalkeeper" is "using up all his luck" was discouraging. I knew then and there ki this commentator is putting panavti. He was praising Iran and then saying "tumse na ho payega"-style stuff. With 4 corners for Portugal as the game progressed, the game was clearly going in their favour. But Iran was "so far matching Portugal". And I knew that was positive because Spain also scored only in the second-half against them. Their "defensive lines (were) holding firm". Like the Spain-Iran match, this commentator also had to take refuge in expressing how "Portugal is frustrating" and Ronaldo was "now frustrated". There was some mention of the UEFA EURO 2016 match between Portugal and Croatia, though I don't remember the context (probably something to do with Santos). That's what you get when you rattle of the crincinfo equivalent for football midway. Then Quaresma showed his karishma and whereas before Iran was "looking forward to half-time", Portugal was now congratulating enough on a "job well done".

Simultaneously, Morocco (which is written as MAR due to its French name Maroc) was showcasing its own fireworks against Spain. Quite spainful to watch I guess. But the Extraaa Innings waale (which thank God, they don't have a 'mandatory' woman showcasing her legs) called Morocco's first goal a "gift". And Spain's goal a "snapshot" of their "domination". Yeah right.

By then into the second half, the Portugal-Iran match had become a yellow-card fest. And then Ronaldo penalty haagla. This was Alireza's "dream moment". The "group was still alive". Sardar Azmoun was brought in. Sudip Moulik, Debopriyo's father gave an insight of how he is called the "Messi of the East" or "Iranian Messi" due to his gameplay. I think, calling any player Messi anymore would be an insult, no? After Ronaldo's failure, their coach who was sitting Indian-style wasn't please. Threw the coat and all. "As the evening falls, the temperatures are not going down, but rising". Good phrasing there by the commentator. But then he was back to putting panavti during Iranian corners.

At this time I sincerely believe, they were shown the movie 'Dangal' during half-time. Random wrestling and hitting and punching was going on. He was full on in riot-control mode. He looked like an angry Mr. Smith from Matrix. Shouting at a manager and players. Also his vision was random. Some fouls he saw, some he didn't. VAR was randomly consulted or not. He must be thinking he is not paid enough for this.

Anyway, the match was now an "epic struggle" especially with the standing boards rejiggered with Morocco taking the lead in the other match. It was a "mighty memorable moment" for them. Back to Portugal-Iran. Very rarely do we get to hear this word, but it was a pleasure to hear Ebrahimi called "indefatigable". Points to commentator for that. But then he followed it up with the match being "topsy-turvy". Personally, I would have preferred it being a "roller-coaster ride".
Then Spain tied 2-2 in the other match.

This brings us to the Iranian "moment of destiny", the penalty. They scored. But Agent Smith had spent half the extra time in VAR and Silva the other half in getting off the field. Iran, though it fought like a Persian lion, couldn't go through.

In the Extraa Innings there was much gyaan as to the rules of use of VAR which could bring several decisions under controversy. Also the match was called "fiesty". Way to underplay.

Both the matches going on were Reds v. White, and in Russia. Such Sowieet nostalgia.
I also recommend the Academy Award having a special FIFA category. Such performances. Much wow.
Fine commentary.
2 Beards/5