Padman

Padman: A Review

or, The Return of Aisha

A Sayani Text.

 

And then they kissed.

My conscious hissed.

My brain pissed.

WTF? They kissed!

 

To quote Ishan Tuljapurkar,

Who requested the company,

Of this lowly Dhakephalkar,

“Dhake, sonny,

 

I’M FURIOUS!

There was no reason, absolutely none.

To destroy the movie’s commendable run.

A glorious man, a necessary tale:

Of a socially conscious and driven male.”

 

Though Kumar’s movies now don’t entertain,

And look like every other documentary train.

Since Airlift, when he played a Dravidian,

Only JL 2, where he played a North Indian

I believe have been enjoyable.

And this movie, overall, is quite bearable.

The locations, the clothes, the language.

All create a brilliant image.

The songs were catchy,

The dialogues, not too tacky.

Radhika Apte has done good.

Just as the supporting cast would.

Amidst these sanitary capers,

A cameo by Mr. Panama Papers.

 

The first half does engross

Then Aisha comes: is quite gross.

For a while cool, for a while, necessary.

For a while bearable, rouge in a village is wearable.

For while aid, for a while ply, Pari, to the UN fly,

Bus! Stop!

 

Mrs. Funnybones broke the spine,

The scriptwriter crossed a line.

You can hear Bollywood say “But, this picture is mine!”

And so Aisha has to kiss

And give sense and sensibility a miss.

A triangle to make Pythagoras grimace;

And the Padman lose face.

 

“Josh” was the justification.

“Hosh” was what was absent.

 

Saw the movie at The Pavilion,

Saved hours: about a million,

In searching for a bike,

As we just took a hike,

To Gokhalenagar where he rode pillion.

 

Like Napoleon! A noble start but a shoddy second half.

I want to cry, give a Tsonami barf.

I really don’t know how I’m still alive.

I’d give it two bushy beards, out of a total five.