This movie is like higher education. You voluntarily suffer, convincing yourself that it is worth it, for some shining degree at the end, or glimpses of it. That degree being Gal.
I was not planning to watch movies in theatres. And not this one especially considering I believe it is on Prime. Plus had heard a few bad reviews. But I went anyway. I was unprepared for the atrocity.
The entire experience was an Odyssey. Was nice to see Akshay Kumar and few other movie celebs clapping for me on-screen since I gave them some income. But the sheer number of ads at PVR easily extended the total run-time of the movie by half an hour at least. Just TOO TOO long. Next time will go only 15 minutes after the scheduled time. This, of course, does not take away from the seemingly unnecessary stretches of bland nothingness in the movie, but we'll come to that later.
The screen seemed small. Almost like an extra-large TV, but theeke. Effectively that is what it is.
There should only be one reason you want to watch this movie: to see Gal Gadot in all her regal beauty. But there are other avenues you can do the same where you wouldn't have to navigate through the dull, still, muddy waters of the Amazon to see glimpses of this warrior. That is all. I grant that the director had the expectations to deliver after an excellent first movie, but she really dropped the ball on this one. And DC had all the time in the world after Endgame to deliver a tight performance. But no. Just seemed so so meh - NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS MOVIE!
The only nice part of the movie is the first long, unnecessary sequence, and the few fights in between. But then they are interspersed with longer boring speeches. Leaving some really logical questions aside like fuelled jets in a museum that fly till Egypt, the aftermath of wishes etc. what galls my gadots is the sheer amount of time dedicated to WW learning to fly (not once, but twice!), Steve's discovery of the 1980s, the fireworks sequence. Ka? Like seriously, ka?
It was brought to my notice that the Steve sequence perhaps paralleled Wonder Woman wandering in wonder in the first movie in "Man's World", but this sequence felt as drawn out as an uncooked piece of pasta. This was brought to my notice by Rama Gokhale (props to her for keeping me company through this ordeal). Perhaps the fireworks scene was meant to bring the visual appeal of GOTG2 ending scene, but they have failed again. And this random invisibility power discovery for an 'invisible jet'. For what? The comic book or cartoon fans? And Steve can fly a jet?! Aso.
The only minor complete arc, so to say, was Cheetah's. That was good. The biggest let down was this armour (to which again they dedicated a long sequence) which failed and WW herself removes it at the end. So why? Don't they know of Chekov's Gun? And on top of all this flashback exposition, at the end, you get 'Why Pedro is pidlela with a power-hungry personality'. You have already given your villain a redeeming trait (love for his son). More justification? Why?
Rama did say that they were perhaps extended the movie to create a longer, immersive - become invested with the story - movie. But that is NOT going to happen. Create a trilogy. Bigger movies. Tighter scripts. Not one Baghban! People still enjoy long movies. Endgame, for example. Or people rewatch Godfather, LOTR. Long movies are fine, but they need a good story, and watchability.
I am conflicted upon one thing though. Agreed that Wonder Woman is also a super'human', so she has needs like companionship, love etc. And she has that right too. But I just think if you remove Chris Pine from the movie, nothing would change. Why couldn't her 'wish' be some other flaw? Like why does it have to be a guy? And that to someone who is so sidey to the plot (and the plot is almost contrived to make his contribution (like flying a plane) necessary). I am sure the writers could have come up with something else?
The visuals will never match up to Marvel. Nor the humour. So once again, I am asking you, DCEU, concentrate on the story, plot. Play to your strengths! You have some of the best characters.
Rating: 1 Beard/5
Instead of the movie watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_Tm0SxIp6w&t
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