The three disclaimers were both poignant and comic; clearly bringing out the times we are living: it is funny how dangerous it is. Then the opening credits never seem to end: but you can take pity on them. These names have appeared quite a while to come on screen. What surprised me was the name of the legal counsel too appearing. Interesting.
Does this movie glorify jauhar? Does it glorify Khilji? Does this gorify
Rajpoot usool? The only thing this movie glorifies is SLB's ability to bore you
to death. Padmavaat the poem was an ode to the beauty and life of a queen.
Padmavaat the movie is an ode to 'Why the fuck did I choose to watch this
movie?' If you have seen Bajirao Mastani, congratulations!! You have seen Padmavati!
The same crazy dance by a ruler; Deepika's sadness; a sad original wife. The
only thing many people have praised is the lavish sets: to that I say, if you
have seen the lavish sets of Bajirao Mastani, you have seen this too. CGI can
only do this much and I have seen better lavishness in computer game cinematic
openings (please search for 'Total War: Three Kingdoms' trailer and you will
know what I mean). So no lavishness points too. If Karni Sena had seen this
movie, they would have not burnt and stoned because they would end up snoring
and wake up to realize ki movie dekha hi nahi ab kiske adhar pe jal-pol
karenge? But then again, if they thought that much... Anyway, by the interval,
the movie seemed to have gone for too long and I was actually feeling sleepy
(the only thing keeping me awake was paying Rs. 350 for this AC semi-reclining
bed for three hours).
One of my biggest disappointments was seeing Mongol cavalry. Dude Sanju, they
used Keshiks, Horse Archers, Mangudais, Hit and Run tactics; not axe wielding
melee cavalry!
Shahid bhai tried his best. For a while I thought that in between his
choreographed holi playing he showed some expression, but he successfully did
not.
Ranvir Singh had to do little different to act like a maniac and he did that well.
He became a successful anti-hero in the movie without doing anything different
from any movie he has done so far. That tells you more about the movie than
him.
The most interesting character of the entire movie was Malik Kafur. One thing
because I remember a quiz question/funda where his name was derived from
camphor due to his skin; and because Jim has done a good job.
Even the mouch-touted about songs were ok ok. After a while there nothing new
even in the 'lavishness' of the sets. Other than the theme humming, none of the
songs were memorable. Not even the ghoomar dance.
Even the jauhar seen was such a pale emotionless feeling. "Arre woh
Deepika kab jareli aag mein, itni der koi stairs utar ta hai kya? When thef is
the movie ending?!" are the thoughts which keep recurring in the head. The
only thing burning with intensity were my eyes inside the spectacles watching
this colossal borefest of a spectacle. And of course Deepika's eyes. Why were
they red throughout? (credits of this observation: Ishan Sir (how did they
manage the camera correction for the same?)). Since this a story about the
'normalized conventional standards of the physical beauty of a woman in India',
having been bombarded by what such a standard is, I feel Deepika failed there
as well. She taking charge of the Rajpoot sena and the plan for the rescue
operation comes too late and too little. Ocean's Eight shows more promise than
Padma's Eight Hundred. Even Lisa Ann can give more character depth while taking
charge.
At the end of the movie I was happy to leave the theatre. The climax was
anti-climactic and the end, a relief.
Pavillion was horribly designed. The lift did not take us to our two wheeler parking (MZ). Two floors, LB and MZ did not have lift service. And we were directed ot take the lift by a guard whereas we would have taken the escalators properly to our parking. We had to go to every floor twice to see idhar gaadi hai kya; it was nowhere. So finally we exited into one parking and at 3 AM began exploring a deserted building until finally reaching the correct floor. I would highly recommend the architect to read 'The Design of Everyday Things' by Donald Norman.
While riding back, Ishan Dada got the topic that there was much Islampohobia in the movie. I disagreed. The integral message in the movie was not Hindu v. Muslim; it was good v. evil. And in this context, the good was the Rajput Queen and Usoolsa and the evil was the Khilji invader; who happened to be Muslim. Yes, lighting and all showed brighter and darker shades but this was because they are heroes and villains. Again manner of eating and all; one must remember, the Mughals and the cultured settled Empires would come three more dynasties down the line. The Sultanate was an Aghan-Turkic-Nomadic base; who got their nomadic lives with them. Hence the looting than settling, raw meat and menagerie rather than what we saw in Jodha Akbar. Also, if that agenda was really to be pushed, they would have shown Khilji's raids on temples more directly than a sanitized result of capturing the princess. Since this is a fictional creation, you could have interchanged the characters and the only major things would be the battle chants, the thanks to lords which would have changed even if it was a Parsi v. Jewish story.
At the end of the day, even if based on a fictional story, well the story
could have been told in a better way.
If you want the social context/social commentary sahit review, please DM; I
have several scroll.in, fb posts, wikipedia, rightlog.in, tweet threads, open
letters, whatsapp forward links I can send your way.
Don't watch this movie in the theatres; if you want to, don't pay more than Rs. 100. If this means you have to go to Mangala, Rahul 70 mm or Apollo; do that. Saw some posts regarding a movie called Bhaagmathie...sounds much more interesting.
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